More Sacrilege

Well this week I'm left, Cinderella-like, here at Alf Towers - which usually means I get some solid, uninterrupted workshop time. That was the plan. Then on Saturday I managed to pull something-or-other in my back, and now it's not the plan quite so much. Sigh. I wouldn't have minded if it had been caused by lifting some heavy baulk of Southern Yellow Pine or summat - but I was moving a packet of sausages from one freezer drawer to another. Double sigh.

But let that be a warning, kids. Sausages really are bad for you...

However, the Saturday before last, I did manage a little light rust hunting, and succumbed to my mumblefourthmumble hand cranked grinder. I confess I fell for the solidity of the tool rest on it; I know nothing of Fabrex Tools Ltd except they also seem to have made a solid-looking wheel brace as well.

Not to mention the little built-in drill bit grinding rest. Cool. Of course I've never reground a drill bit in my life, and had hitherto had absolutely no plans to start, but that's not the point.

Only hitch-ette with the solidity of the tool rest, is it's brought about by a nifty slide-y dovetail-y groovy set up - that does not tilt.

So ideally I wanted another, tilt-y rest that could pop over the top, and yet get out of the way when a 90° grind - or a newly sharpened drill bit - was required. At which point I had a bit of a brainwave about what to use to make one, that'd not only provide a nice robust surface, but also an effective heat sink.

Can you tell what it is? Are you ready?

The easily shocked might be best to turn away now.

No, really, I mean it.

Well I warned you...

Yes, it's the toe of a #4 1/2.

It wasn't a good #4 1/2 of any pedigree at all. More to the point, I already have a task for the rest of the body, so otherwise this bit'd go to waste. It's a Good Thing, honestly.

Also, cast iron really is the loveliest stuff to tap. It's a wildly inaccurate description, but I can't help thinking of it as somehow "buttery". Lovely stuff. And really, it's probably just as well I get out this desire to tap threads in plane bodies on stuff like this, isn't it, boys and girls? Yes, I rather think it is.

Anyway, works a treat; little bit higher on the wheel than ideal, but a necessary evil to avoid the existing rest and still have a tilt range. Best of all, the half lap for the base went together "just so" right off the saw, which cheered me up no end. Of course I was extra happy to get to the woodworking bit, metalwork being a ghastly, dirty business which I like not at all. No wonder amateur woodworking seems to overflow with engineers; blessed relief to them to be clean for once, I should think... ;)

Eye know

So I had to purchase more lolly sticks; Bertie's going through them like... Well, like me with a packet of Jaffa Cakes, actually. But let's not dwell on that. And my "bright idea" from the last blog entry just wouldn't quite leave me alone. I am weak in the presence of a silly idea.

It turns out that

a. They're not self-adhesive (soon remedied)

and

b. Some of them have rather luscious eyelashes. Oh. Oh.

Yes, I know Little Victor isn't pink but burgundy (it's just a really awkward colour to photograph, so I'm told), but this just had to happen:

Mesdames et Messieurs! I give you Victoria!

Ooh, la la. Giving us those workbench eyes, you minx...

Either El Presidente will laugh, or he'll kill me. Or he may laugh whilst killing me. Should I survive, I ought to probably seek some sort of treatment. Or else suggestions on what other tools are begging for anthropomorphication; plenty more eyes to go round. And round...

Pressed

As I spent 15 minutes drilling small holes* through small bits of wood†, in order to facilitate the parrots turning them into even smaller bits of wood, I realised why it is that a drill press would be a tailed tool I would very much miss having access to.

Although I suppose I could find somewhere to put the hand-cranked one, if truly pressed. Don't take that vice away from me though - insanely useful device. (See what I did there? Can't do that with 'Murrican spelling. Arguably, why would you want to?)

It was also of minor comfort that I do occasionally get some use out of a tiny proportion of the tools in the w'shop these days. Although any comfort is somewhat offset by the reflection that this must make them the most expensive parrots toys in psittacine history...

*4mm lip'n'spur

†They may look like coloured lolly sticks to you but they're actually highly-prized exotic timbers ripped to size and hand-planed to close tolera- Okay, yes. They're coloured lolly sticks. It was only with effort that I confined myself just to those and didn't also buy the bag of self-adhesive goggly eyes and start looking speculatively at the planes.

Oh, come on. Planes with goggly eyes? What's not to like? Don't tell me you wouldn't be tempted.

Well-polished Chipboard

At the beginning of the month, I mentioned how I've always struggled to get a grip on mouldings; what's called what, what's appropriate where, etc etc. Well, unhappily, I have similar difficulties with furniture styles. I'm better than I was - walnut came before mahogany, and so forth - but the detail eludes me, and I certainly fail mightily at placing the furniture style in the context of history. It's always been like that; I was useless at music theory too, but I could hold a tune just about okay.

So at the moment I am applying myself to reading Edward Lucie-Smith's Furniture: A Concise History in yet another bid to remedy that. I'm pretty sure I ought to have a copy of Charles Hayward's English Period Furniture and be reading that, but somehow or other I don't have it and I do have this one. Because my mother, bless her, saw it in a charity shop and bought it for me. So naturally I'm reading it; you should always exhibit suitable enthusiasm to encourage family and friends to be inclined to buy any and all s/h woodworking books they might see. You never know what they might find.

Anyway, he's a pretty good read (should be; he's written enough), and does put the furniture into a nice social history context, which works for my poor brain cell. He seems to be a bit of a Makepeace fan, but I'll try not to hold that against him; it was written in the 70s, after all. Alas, I'm getting a bit bogged down in the 17thC at the moment (as is so often the case) - can't see the furniture for the ornamentation, which I loathe - but there is more than enough to keep one interested en route.

For instance, I'd never before heard of a doll's house in Nuremberg, Germany, dating to 1639, but there's a rather dark black and white plate of same, and my interest was piqued. Luckily Google supplies, and it seems it's better known as the Stromer House, and it's absolutely fab. I love it. All it needs is a workshop attached, and I'd live in it. Here are some photos of it halfway down the page - and further miniature marvels as a bonus.

But I must return to my education; a marquetry table from 1690 is now demanding my attention. Too bad the picture is such that it looks less like delicate marquetry, and more an illusion of, um, well chipboard. Well-polished chipboard, mind you...

Oh look, a post title :^)