Friday, April 08, 2005

The Nine Circles of Hell - Neanderthal Style

Having cause to refresh my memory of Signor Alighieri's expedition to Hell, it struck me a hand tool user's likely reasons for being in any particular circle might be a little different:
  • Circle One (Those in limbo) - Well I don't know; do I need a hand plane?
  • Circle Two (The Lustful) - Oooo, have you seen that infill on *bay...?
  • Circle Three (The Gluttonous) - Seven different smoothing planes is simply not enough.
  • Circle Four (The Hoarders) - Okay, so I don't need 5 jointer planes now, but you never know what may happen tomorrow...
  • Circle Five (The Wrathful) - I just bought a low angle smoother, and now they're bringing out another one?!
  • Circle Six (The Heretics) - You only really need one good bench plane.
  • Circle Seven (The violent) - If you don't give me that plane right now, I'll punch you on the nose!
  • Circle Eight (The Fraudulent) - This is the last plane I shall ever need, dear.
  • Circle Nine (Traitors) - Norm was good last night, wasn't he...?

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