Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Sister Ann

“Sister Ann, Sister Ann, do you see anyone coming?”—from poor cowering Fatima. And from the watcher on the look-out always the same monotonous reply: “Naught but the dust that blows before the wind!”

Not familiar with this literary gem? (the whole thing) To be honest neither am I, but it's a tradition at Alf Towers that anyone on the look-out for something or someone is "Sister Ann-ing". And thus that is what I've been doing, on and off all day.

Y'see on Saturday I had a nasty ransom demand, er, I mean invoice from Porcel Farce - sorry, I mean Parcel Force - telling me a certain parcel from Canada was within their incompetent grasp and if I wanted to see the contents released safe and unharmed into the bosom of its new family I must stump up the duty. And the VAT. And their clearance fee. Stump it up forthwith and arrange delivery. Which I duly did, via their website (which at least gave the appearance of being surprisingly efficient) the earliest for the delivery being this very day - Tuesday. So naturally today, Tuesday, I have been Sister Ann-ing like a pro.

Of course the charges were my own fault for opting for air mail, but given the nature of the content - saws, Wenzloff & Sons, drooling over for the use of (oh, and maybe some sawing in the fullness of time, once I've drooled long enough) - I felt it was worth the extra to ensure they didn't spend longer than necessary in transit and risk damage. Mind you, bearing in mind the Farcical Parcel delivery ones, that may not have made a jot of difference.

Wait! Did I hear something? A van door opening? I'll go and have a look...

... P'shaw. False alarm. Again.

To take my mind off the non-arrivals, I've been thinking about the saw till doors again. On reflection perhaps the saw till wasn't the ideal thing to take my mind off saws... Anyway, not being fully match fit again as yet, it could be that with a little intelligent planning and spreading out of various tasks over many days, it might work me back up to speed again quite nicely. Plus I'm sure there'd be sawing required.

On the other hand I could have a go at tweaking the small plow a little. As I half expected (and to a certain extent dreaded) a contrary opinion to the general run thus far has lead to me being "proved wrong" all over the place. Heigh ho. It's a bugger telling it as you find it when you don't like all you find. I hated having to do the feedback for the R&D folks too; makes me feel like a heel. I should have done the small router instead - I like that. ;-)

Ooo, was that the doorbell...? Hah! No such luck. Hmm, just bethought me to check the tracking number via that strangely efficient-appearing website.

27-11-2007 05:01 Plymouth Depot Out for delivery

Eeek! It's been bumming round Cornwall since the early hours? What the heck's keeping them? Individual deliveries to everyone in Penzance first? Probably eye patches... (Penzance - pirates? Gettit? Oh, never mind.) Well it's dark now so you folks are doomed to see naught but the dust that blows before the wind if you're hoping for a pic or two tonight. I'll endeavour not to drool too much over 'em before I take their likenesses. Promise.


  1. Wenzloff and Sons: a very good name in drool catalysts. Can't wait to see the pics!

  2. No need to feel a heel, Alf - your reviews are always honest, highly informative and well respected.

    Looking forward to seeing pics of the Wenzloffs......


    Paul Chapman


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