Cypriot Delight

My brother and sister-in-law just had a holiday in Cyprus, and brought back the folks a box of Cyprus Delight. They haven't opened it yet, but I am agog to know what Cypriots delight in as opposed to what delights a Turk.

What delights me is unexpected bench spotting, and Cyprus turned up this one, apparently doing duty as the breakfast sideboard.

 The board with the circular depressions is not connected.

 Nice wooden tail vice; nothing of great remark.

Another tail vice on the other end? Seems to have been added on, and isn't very convinced about staying that way. Now who or what purpose would want a tail vice at each end? 

Too bad they didn't get a shot of it front on, but I'm encouraged by getting the family as well-trained as this. Perseverance pays.

Still a workbench

The Society for the Prevention of the Exploitation of Workbenches (SPEW) is slacking again. Actually I'm two minds about this one; it is still being used for something creative, just not for what it was intended. But should any working bench really be subjected to quite so much pastel?

Found it here - you'll have to scroll down past an awful lot of glass jars full of buttons, and plenteous ribbons, so I'll append the caption and save you some possible pain if that's not your idea of a good time:

"I orginally bought this workbench to use as my worktable but, at only 13 inches, it ended up not being deep enough. I still love it, though! It didn't photograph well because the flash made the wood look a lot lighter than it is. I paid $110 for it at Pappy's Antiques and put a glass top on it for two reasons. The top is pretty rough since it was actually some man's workbench. And, again because it was used, it has oil and grease on it."

Good heavens, it was actually some man's workbench. With oil and grease on it. There's a surprise.

Ack, no, fair enough - the world of buttons and ribbons is short on grease, I suppose. On the bright side, it's not been busted up and may yet live again as a workbench sometime in the future. As long as no-one's cut out a heart shape in the middle of the apron in the meantime. Even the most dedicated Spewer may cavil at that in their w'shop.

Where Roubos Go To Die

I don't want to put a downer on your day, but have you considered what will become of your workbench when you pass on? Is it doomed to end up lost and alone? Will it sit forlorn, being abused and mis-treated, gradually falling into disrepair? Perhaps only to be - and those of a fragile disposition may wish to avert their gaze - "rescued" and, in this case, shot-blasted into interior design hell:

 Yes, they've put a table lamp on it. Yes, it looks ridiculous.

 Big ol' hunk o' wood though, no?

Looks like it maybe had a tool tray at some point. Concentrate on the construction details - it helps not to dwell on the overall effect.

Yours for £1250 apparently.

No? Feeling more British maybe? How about a good old joiner's bench:

 Well, "old" anyway. The adjustable lamp is an improvement in overall ambience.

And you do get a vice with it. Part of a vice.

And what looks suspiciously like part of a ladder as the "shelf". Which is different, and something I urge the bench builders of the world to consider in their next designs. Handy in the event of needing to dovetail the end of long boards held upright in the vice.

A mere £720 - but alas, already reserved.

At this point, I would generally have linked to the source for this sort of thing, but in this case I find myself oddly unwilling to risk pointing anymore victims towards this lunacy. But there we are, it's not actually news to me that there's a market for decrepit benches for the discerning nutter. It's hardly the craziest thing in the world. No doubt you can Google it up in short order, if you've a mind.

However, the one that really got me was this one:

 Heaven help us; it's back to the table lamp.

 The darn thing has both vices, and I bet they work.

Honestly, that's a perfectly workable bench - bet you a fiver.

And storage enough to make Chris Schwarz recoil in horror. Drawers! Evil, evil drawers! Mwhahahahahaaaaa.

Alas, a whole £1400 to rescue it, so that ain't happening. "Would make a very strong piece in a Kitchen/hallway or retail situation" apparently. I'm such a naive fool, thinking it'd make a good workbench.

So yep, take heed, ladies and gentlemen. Either we need a workbench rehoming charity, or we must make our own private arrangements. With an emphasis on no shot-blasting, and absolutely no table lamps...

Seven Years in Debate

According to my memory, "not long ago" I invested in a Veritas Hold Down and, after a suitable interval for angsting over it, I bored one (one) hole in the bench to take it.

And it was good.

Heck, it still is good. The well-memoried will recall it earned particular admiration as my trusty assistant in the Emmert vice (or vise) fitting Saga. Of course, after that wholesale destruction, boring holes in the bench was, in comparison, such a non-event as to be barely worth a mention. But despite planning to do so, I failed to add any more holes.

Time passed, and on the UK Workshop forum a chap offered ye olde fashioned holdfasts for sale. Being easily swayed by the prevailing fashions, I bought a pair.

Honestly? They work an' all, but I'm not a big fan. The hitting, the rustiness ('cos you can't wax 'em, or they cease to grip) and so forth just don't appeal like the Veritas does. Forgive me; I'm clearly stuck in the 20thC.

Anyway, I still couldn't come to a decision on additional holes, even though I now actively needed them. I even asked you lot for your input on where to put them in the hopes of actually reaching a decision. No dice.

Well, finally, the iron entered into my soul and I bethought to myself "Buggerit" and I've bored two (count 'em - two) more holes. And with the wonders of the blog archive, I've ascertained it's only taken me a little over seven (SEVEN) years to do it.

What the...? How in hell did that happen?! Where did "not long ago" go?

At least having given myself time to think the job through, I was pretty clear on what I wanted to do. The mistake I made in boring the first hole was not lining it up with the adjacent dog hole - a useful feature in that you can stick another dog in the holdfast hole when planing wider stuff. By some quirk of the gods, that dog hole now no longer exists thanks to the Emmert anyway, but I knew I wanted to correct that oversight this time round.

So first I squared off from the existing dog to get the front edge of the hole.

Then gauged from the centre line of the original hold down hole and intersected with it. I know the Veritas will reach comfortably almost to the dog hole, but checked Richard The Blacksmith's, and found they were within about 1.5 in. Plenty of coverage there then.

Then came a moment to pause and wonder just how much offset I needed to allow finding the centre point for boring the hole. If you use a round dog with a flat cut into the 3/4 inch diameter then obviously it's going to be less than half that diameter. Well I have a couple of simple wooden dogs I made for the Benchtop Bench with a flat top that lines up with the 3/4 in shaft that I like, so I elected to split the hole diameter exactly in half to get my centre point to fit them.

 Like this.

Then to the bit selection. I elected to get out a BugBear Special for this job. A (long) while back I managed to shear off the lead screw of my, at the time, only actual 3/4in "3/4in" Jennings pattern auger bit. I was unhappy but resigned; rust sometimes does more than can just be fixed cosmetically. Anyway, BB very generously sent me a replacement for Christmas that year. Or rather an upgrade, for this was polished and sharpened to, I'd say, better than new. If BB ever wanted to get into a sideline selling refurbished auger bits for outrageous prices, I'd be first in line with the testimonial. It's a pleasure to use. Anyway, I thought I'd chuck in a close-up of it in case anyone found it helpful to see what an efficiently working auger bit should look like. Take particular note of the excellent state of the lead screw, auger bit neophytes.

Anyway, back to the hole. Last time I just used one square; set up behind the bit and in line with the hole, that pretty much covers 90° in both axis. However, I have two small squares, so what the heck. Let's live a little.

Now that's a sharp bit. It was doing all the work, and I was just the klutz turning the crank and trying not to get in the way, as it should be. Given that I now have extensive knowledge of just how hard this beech is, I have to say it's ridiculously effortless. Indeed it wasn't until the lead screw was through the other side and ceased pulling the bit that I realised I was almost done. Good practice tells you to finish the hole from the other side to avoid splintering out, but that was a little impractical in this case. As was clamping a backing piece. However, if you're careful not to apply too much pressure (just enough to cut, but not aggressively so) and your bit is good and sharp, you can sometimes get away with it if the gods care to smile upon you. Which, in this case, they did.

Had to be a first time, I s'pose.

A monstrous snail countersink, which gets used once in a blue moon, put a neat chamfer in the top edge to prevent the holdfast shanks ragging up the top.

Look, ma! It's a hole with a piece of metal in it. Exciting, innit?

Moment of truth as I drop the dog in and... huzzah, it lines up beautifully. Pause to preen - then bore another one.

Look, ma! It's two (two) holes with two (two) pieces of metal in them. My excitement knows no bounds. Bet yours doesn't either, eh, gentle reader?

Okay, so it's not exactly exciting in the great scheme of things. But it is the application of tools (eleven) to proper wood (not popsicle sticks) by me (Alf). To me at least, that is kinda exciting.

Hanging Deadman

Before we start, apologies to BB - I forgot about his board jack suggestion. I have used something similar before. Well clamps anyway. A clamp:

As you can tell from the vice and drill, and indeed the ply, this is a carefully and recently staged photo to demonstrate the use of a handscrew for the purpose. This is because I don't have any pics of me using it "in stock". And this is because I'm a lazy idiot and will sooner swear and curse than move myself sufficiently to apply one lousy clamp to the work. Which is why it's absolutely essential to have the easiest and laziest-person's solution to the problem - or I won't use it at all. So, BB's solution, although easy to make and fit, would be utterly useless because I'm utterly useless at using this sort of thing. I feel the shame of it, I assure you.

Anyway, it was pointed out to me that what with Treasure Island and talk of "deadmen", Monday's post all sounded more than a little piratical. Gets worse today, as I bring you Tom in Colorado's "Hanging Sliding Deadman" - jangling chains and Execution dock fourtunately not required. Tom kindly sent me pics of his solution to the overhanging bench top scenario, and equally kindly agreed to let me share. So in his own words, take it away, Tom:

I have attached some photos of my own board jack, which I designed to overcome similar problems to yours. The overhang on my bench top is a little more than 6 inches beyond the lower stretcher, so I made this sliding jack with a “kicker” to support it against the stretcher.

The leg (vertical piece) needs to be forward (toward the user) from the point where the jack hangs in the track, so that the weight of the leg itself will make the whole thing want to swing backward into the lower stretcher. This just keeps it from swinging freely when no workpiece is on it.

The really nice thing about this design is that it is very easy to remove from the bench. The sliding “head” of the jack rides in a groove on the back side of the front edge of the bench.

There is a backing strip of wood (merely screwed to the underside of the top) that is cut short on one end, allowing the “head” to slip out of the groove and off the bench. You can see this in one of the photos, sort of at an awkward angle, but hopefully it shows the groove and backing strip well enough.


The jack can also be held in the tail vice if ever needed that way.


I built the bench top with this jack in mind, so I cut in the groove before everything else was in the way, but I think any sort of track to hang the jack could be retrofitted (or just screwed on) easily enough, and it would be out of sight on the back of the front edge. I once had a free-standing board jack that I used with an older bench, but got pretty fed up with having to step around its feet when edge-planing a long board. That was the inspiration for my newer sliding jack.

As the jack exists now, it has a series of notches on the vertical piece to hang the adjustable support block. I cut the notches on a tablesaw, but think it would be just as easy to do with a drill press and bandsaw or handsaw. Also, after I built it this way, I thought that just a series of holes drilled in the face of the vertical piece for inserting dowels to support the workpiece would be simpler and less intrusive.

A woodworking friend of mine saw it just after I finished building the bench, and he was skeptical of how strong it was, so I stood with all my weight (I weigh 200 lbs) on the support block and it didn't even make a sound. It surprised me too.

Thank you, Tom. It's certainly an option that appeals, as I can try it without making permanent changes to any noticeable parts of the workbench. I'm inclined to think it's suffered enough in that respect!

As to holdfast holes, I'm touched by the idea that time and projects will reveal unto me where to put them. How long have I had that Veritas holdfast, waiting for this very thing to happen? Certainly years, and it, well... hasn't. Why? Because it always seems easier to do without it than stop and bore the necessary hole. Yes, I know; I'm a fool to myself. You needn't point it out...

X marks the spot

"I'll tell you what I've heard myself," continued Captain Smollett: "that you have a map of an island, that there's crosses on the map to show where treasure is, and that the island lies—" And then he named the latitude and longitude exactly.

Treasure Island, by Robert Louis Stevenson

No treasure here, but if you were to add a couple more hold fast holes, where would you put them? I have a notion, but input welcome before I turn the thing into Swiss Cheese. The grid is to (possibly) make explanation easier. e.g. The existing holdfast hole is on the border of C4/D4.

Of course I can multi-task and am thus able to dither over that and other things all at the same time. What can I say? It's a gift. So I'm also wondering about my board jack/sliding deadman/bench slave conundrum. Sensible suggestions have appeared in the comments box, for which I thank you. But something held in the tail vice is only good for boards of about 4 ft long and more, which seems to be of dubious advantage for much of what I do. A separate standing bench slave appeals because it means I don't have to do any more evil to the bench itself, but I worry about the uneven nature of the floor and whether another "thing" to store in the mythical land of "Somewhere" won't be more trouble that it's worth.

My inclination is towards a sliding board jack, always ready to use, mounted on the bench. But I have 6" (150mm) of overhang to accommodate, and the only solution I've (so far) found to the problem is from the bods at Lie-Neilsen, as seen here on the Woodworking Magazine blog, and also here on "Tom's Workbench". But it's a butt-ugly solution, to my eye. L-N must have thought so too, because they certainly haven't added it to the benches in that style that they sell. But I keep toying with the idea and wondering if something along the same lines, but with less workbench trestle abuse and more elegance is possible. I'm open to suggestions on that too.

Mind you, perhaps I'm over-complicating this and just a row of holdfast holes along the front edge of the bench top would be just as useful for my purposes? Or would a surface clamp be better than a hold fast in that situation anyway? Aaargh, so many options a person doesn't know what to do!

So I did something else entirely. I took the Stanley 1221K hand drill that I cleaned up when I was doing the M-F #2 the other day, and I... Well, let's just say it's gone from this: (top right corner

To this:

And then to this:

I feel a little bit unclean; I don't repaint tools. But it has a hole in the handle, a missing tooth in the gear wheel, the gear wheel itself looks like it was cast by a blind man, and the chuck is seized up so I can't fix the sticking jaws - I figured anything I did was only going to improve it. But mainly I figured the gear wheel would be rusting endlessly if I didn't paint it. The only thing against doing it was the fact no-one seems to know much about a 1221K; it's a Stanley "Defiance" model, but unlike the K-less 1221, it has a side handle. What is it with me and unusual egg beaters anyway...?

I wanna tell you a story 4

With the vice all apparently working, the unskilled labour was drafted in to help me flip the thing over so I could flatten the top. After all the bumps and dings the top got during this whole process, I'm glad I decided to leave the refinishing 'til the end. The Emmert's hinge mounting plate was deliberately set slightly below the bench surface to facilitate that, and it worked fine.

The Millers Falls jack and Veritas bevel-up jointer did the necessary, with the 3x2 now drafted in to act as a lateral stop. Unfortunately I had no means of stopping it walking lengthways across the workshop as I planed, so I was pretty much pulling it back into position after every stroke. All jolly good fun and reminder, if reminder was needed, why a workbench that doesn't move is so essential for successful planing.

Couple of coats of finishing oil later, and it's like having a brand new bench. Cool.

The unskilled labour was called upon again and the top was lifted back in place. Oh happy day! Vice (or vise) reassembled and proving what I'd suspected all along - it would have looked bloody ridiculous on a 5ft long bench.

And the obligatory Emmert rotate 'n' tilt shot.

But I wasn't finished there, reader; there was the tool tray to fill in. Some laminate flooring filled that need admirably - I told you it was going to be shallow.

While I was at it, it seemed a shame not to make a better job of the shelf below as well. I even went so far as to swap round my available plastic boxes so I had a matched set of three at last.

Then I lined the jaws; starting out with leather in mind, but the price almost makes wood look like it grows on trees, so I ditched that idea and went for cork instead. This stuff is sold to the model railway layout fraternity and is 1/8" thick.

Now you're probably gathering up the breath to say "But Alf, is it wise to glue it to the cast 'arn? What about if you ever get the tilting jaw insert thingy? How will you fit it?" Step forward Dave Anderson, who's pearl of wisdom I culled from Sawmill Creek during my reading of all things Emmert - self-adhesive flexible magnetic sheet. Make the liner in two halves and you can pop it off and on as occasion demands. Brilliant.

As I had the cork out, I lined the jaws of the tail vice too; something I've been meaning to do for ages.

Behold; all looking worryingly smart.

You see how it looks like the floor's sloping fairly drastically from left to right in that photo? That's because the floor slopes fairly drastically from left to right. This may be why I can't decide what height of bench I like; it depends on which end of it I'm standing at... I do know that for a while it felt amazingly tall having go used to it down at saw horse level.

Anyway, it looking all fancy like that was a bit unnerving, but luckily, by the time I'd loaded up the shelf with the bench-on-bench, the bench hooks, the shooting boards, etc, it was much more normal. I dallied with making some new bench dogs, but decided a bit of familiarity would be nice to retain.

I may yet have to move things about a little, in case there's not enough room for the vice's beam to swing when it tilts, but that's not a problem.

But we're still not done really, although you're now as up to date with things as I am. I really would like to make some improvements to holding work on the front of the bench, and I think another holdfast hole or two might be a Good Thing.

Oh, and I've got to put all the tools back. Which reminds me, tools used...

What? If you think I'm listing that lot, you must reckon I'm crazy. Crazier than chopping a big hole in my bench, that is...

I wanna tell you a story 3

An Emmert vice that doesn't rotate is an abomination. Really, if you think about it, it's virtually any old face vice but with big dreams. That won't do, so allowing it to rotate was essential. (I dunno, should I really call it a "vise", it being 'Murrican an' all? But I digress...)I have to say my inability to think in 15 dimensions really didn't help at this stage. It took me ages of paring and testing. At this point I really learnt to hate the end cap - the end grain complicated things just that little bit more.

I'm no carver, and although I think I may have a couple of carving gouges somewhere in the pile o' tools, they're hardly ready for use, so I resorted to using a couple on in-cannel firmer gouges. They did pretty well, but did I mention I'm no carver? Yeah, well, this confirmed it. Thank God for the invention of the drum sander, s'all I'm going to say on that...

As you could see from that photo, another dog hole was rapidly ceasing to exist. Really I should have blocked it off before I started, but I got away with it. Only downside is the beech I had available to use for the job is much whiter than the bench, so although the fit is good, it doesn't exactly blend in. Heigh ho. Also evidence of when tiredness overcomes good practice; nasty breakout on the bottom edge from cross grain work after a failure to appreciate that the initial chamfer had been obliterated by the amount of wood I'd had to remove. Annoying, but not fatal.

Planing up the beech to plug the dog hole was interesting. The only accessible means of holding it was the front edge of the tail vice, but that was with the bench still resting on its edge and therefore hardly a secure platform. I resorted to Eastern practices and used my small Mujingfang plane on the pull stroke, so I could keep the workbench upright at the same time. I'm not going to dump all my Western pushing planes as a result, but in this kind of situation, it proved to be a bit of a life saver.

Meanwhile a third dog hole was looking decidedly ropey. I'm reluctant to lose it completely - after all, you never know when you might need it - so I chiseled off the wafer thin section to at least leave a stronger edge. Don't anticipate it being a problem, but I'll see how it goes and can always fill it in later if necessary.

And the completed curvy cut out. No, it doesn't necessarily rotate completely at any tilt angle, but I'll wait and see if that's a problem. If it is, I will joyously embrace further hours of paring and fitting. And if you believe that, I have a bridge to sell you...

Houston, we have rotation. I first 360° spin was, I admit, a bit of a buzz. I did it a couple of times, just for the hell of it. I may have gone "Wheeeee" as I did so, but I ain't telling.

Around this point, my view of the Emmert switched from "millstone around my neck (or ankles)" to "Ooo, I could like this". This is a Good Thing. Thus, with renewed appetite for the battle, I approached the matter of the space for the beam.

More sawing, chiselling - with yet another (shorter) chisel, 'cos now I was working with a restricted space - and I had a perfectly fitting hole. Which was stupid, because obviously I needed to make it wide enough to allow the beam to rotate too. So a bit more sawing and chiselling later...

Yes, the tilt adjust mechanism has put in an appearance too. The Emmert instructions advise benches under 3" thick should have a padding piece added under the bracket, which I duly did. Quite a lot of padding in the end, to bridge the pocket in the bench top where the nut for the bolt holding on that pesky end cap resides, and to stop the tilt bar hitting the front edge of the tool tray as it moved downwards. Besides, it seemed to me that, within reason, the more accessible the lever was, the better.

All looking very purposeful at this point. Great.

So then I took it all apart again in order to flip the top back over.

Well removed the jaws anyway. Sigh. But by this stage the finishing line definitely felt in sight.