Confession

Lack of blogging confession? Ack, take that as read. (Hello to anyone still out there, by the way. Clearly I still aten't dead.)

No, this is something that's been weighing on my mind since November, and now that September is nearly here, I feel the need to unburden. It's simple really, and goes something like this:

Old catalogue covers make great fodder for homemade custom made notebook covers.

The emphasis being on old. No longer current. Not, say, from September 2013 - 2014 inclusive. To my horror, I went to grab an old copy of the LV catalogue in order to liberate its gorgeous cover for a notebook and somehow, I know not how, I only realised it was the current one after I'd sliced the cover off. Nearly a whole year as a naked catalogue. I hardly know how to look it in the index. I'm sorry, Lee Valley catalogue, really I am. Forgive me. But you do make a very lovely notebook...

And while we're talking of mistakes, an aberration in Photoshop yielded this result, which I couldn't quite bear to discard. I think I want all my maps in white on black now, please...

Blistering

Now I don't want to shock you or anything, but just for fun, some tool-related musing. Two things caught my eye that amused me, and there's a remote chance they might amuse someone else.

First up, I thought Amazon surprisingly frank in their product description when they describe this Am-Tech duo as a "double blister".

Then, as we head towards kick-off, this Official England Toolkit caught my eye. The very thing for hasty rebuilding of defences at half time, one presumes.

Of course being a football kit, they'll probably have another one of a slightly different design for sale in a month's time...

Crusty the Clown

So I knew all about Ancient Copper's reported occasional forays into crustiness, but my first experience of The Thing From Beyond The Inkwell is, in fact, Rohrer and Klingner's lovely golden Helianthus.

Eeek! It's Alive!

Well, no. Despite appearances I don't think it's actually eating the pen; it wipes off readily enough. But then this is the advantage of the Cheap Pen; it's not a disaster if it does get ate. Most likely this is actually as a result of one of the disadvantages of the Cheap Pen - many of them dry out frustratingly readily, and orange dyes in particular seem to like to grow crystals as a result. I was actually deliberately leaving them all unused for a few days to ascertain which were the worst culprits, and already had a strong suspicion that these Oliver Exam piston fillers were habitual offenders. It's a shame, because they're really not bad little pens, but along with the drying out is the hideous truth that they have the most pungent example of "pong-y pen syndrome" I've yet come across. Seriously; seventeen-babies-have-all-thrown-up-simultaneously-into-my-pen-cup whiff-o-rama. Not good.

Still, this is kinda fun in a strange, twisted, mild pen-suffering way. Sort of like growing your own cheesy Wotsits.

A Load of Buhl

Okay, I confess; tool nomenclature annoys me. There are perfectly good terms to differentiate one tool (or tool feature) from another, and some blighter comes along and tries to change it. One of the most annoying aspects of this is when they're actually changing it backwards to something it was before, so you feel that you probably can't even really get justifiably annoyed about it at all.

Oh, but I can. Easily.

Viz: Bench hook meaning a metal planing stop. Correct - technically - and yet oh-so annoyingly misleading these days. Bezel for bevel. 'Cos we've learnt to spell now, this is very irritating to me. And so on. Do not, absolutely not, get me started on the attempt to make "fillister" (however you want to spell that) mean "cross grain rebate". (Yes, that's rebate, you 17thC dwellers. We're all in the 21stC these days, y'know.)

In which spirit, let's talk about Buhl Saws.

"Do what now?" I hear you double-take. Well according to R Salaman's well-regarded (and occasionally not-at-all helpful) work, the Dictionary of Woodworking Tools, that's what we'd call a Fret Saw back in the 19thC. By a Fret Saw, obviously I mean a Buhl Saw with a frame, and not a Fret Saw that was back then, apparently, more like Keyhole or Pad Saw.

Get it? Perfectly clear. No problem. Terminology has evolved and we all know where we stand.

All well and good, except what do I mean by Fret Saw with a frame? I know what I mean, and what Raphael meant. (He provides both description and drawing, just to be sure) 12-20in deep (usually) metal U-shaped frame frame with a fine saw blade generally held by clamps. Handle on the end in line with the blade. Hobbies made thousands of them.

These days? Some blighter - and I'd like to know exactly who so I can put them in my Hall of Influential But Mildly Annoying Woodworking People along with Mr Dunbar, Mr Follansbee et al - some blighter has taken to calling Jeweller's Piercing Saws "Fret Saws".

Argh!

Why?!

Just 'cos they take the same blades? Does that make my compound mitre saw a table saw if it can take the same blades? No!

So everyone gets confused, and then people go truly insane and start confusing Piercing Saws with Coping Saws and any minute now some poor sap will call a Junior Hacksaw frame a Fret Saw and I WILL SCREAM.

*and breathe*

So, in this spirit, and in order that when someone says "Fret Saw" in a forum discussion I can just point them here and say "Which of these are you actually talking about as opposed to what I think you're talking about?", I give you

What Alf Thinks You Mean By *Blank* Saw.

Fret Saw. 

Takes fine, unpinned blades referred to as "Fret Saw" or "Scroll Saw" blades. It's not a Scroll Saw - a Scroll Saw usually refers to a mechanical saw. A Fret Saw is for Fret Work. i.e. Fine detailed sawing likely to make you fret more than somewhat.

Jeweller's (Adjustable) Piercing Saw.

Also takes unpinned blades referred to as "Fret Saw" or "Scroll Saw" blades. Is neither a Fret Saw or a Scroll Saw. It's a Piercing Saw. Piercing Jewellers with it is Not Advised as they have many evil tools of their own that would Hurt.

 Coping Saw.

Takes pinned blades referred to as "Coping Saw Blades". Designed with the "Coping" or "Scribing" of mouldings in mind. It could have been called a Scribing Saw. It wasn't. It's a Coping Saw. It's a modern invention; there is no 17thC spelling for it, so don't go looking. It's a 20thC tool. That's one of the reasons I like it.

 Another Coping Saw.

Also referred to as a Totally Unjustifiable Over-Indulgence. It was my birthday present to me; that's all the justification I needed. If you can't be nice, go away. Takes pinned blades referred to as "Good Lord, there are different TPIs available?! I must go mad and try lots of them." (Yeah, there was likely going to be a review-y kinda thing, but you got lucky and the Old Man broke his leg instead. He's doing better, btw. Thank you for the good wishes.)

So there you have it - what happens when Alf is feeling a little stressed and having to do Domestic Things like Bake Cakes and Remembering To Do The Laundry instead of playing with her new toy. No offence intended to any Influential But Mildly Annoying Woodworking People or 17thC dwelling North Americans. Love you all madly with your quaint terminology. Bless.

The Thing

An exchange on one of the woodworking fora over the weekend reminded me that I don't think I've ever shared a particularly useful, but oh-so-ugly, homemade tool that lurks here at The Towers.

I call it the Thing.

As in "Where's the Thing?", "Oh, the Thing will do that", "Good grief, I really should make a nicer version of this Thing". It's not so much a tool for woodworking per se, although it's been used on a fair few handles in its time. But there are very few pre-owned tools in the w'shop that haven't been on the business end of The Thing at some point.

Yes, this is the glamour shot. Envious, aren't you? Even with that little bit of damage to the custom-made handle, the Thing exudes toolish loveliness.

No? Well, no. It is pretty darn hideous.

It came about quite by chance, many years ago. Early in my learning curve of cutting up old saw blades, I ended up with a new plate for a Sorby 18in panel saw, a number of scrapers, some scratchstock blades (in potenia) - and a 5in length of really vicious splinter-like saw plate. Somehow the usefulness inherent in this utterly fortuitously created piece of steel grabbed me immediately, and I kept it.

Within 20 seconds, I gave it a handle from electrical tape. Go on, wonder why...

One end is pointy and can get into all sorts of little areas of tools that need cleaning out. Screw head hopelessly gummed up with the detritus of the centuries? The pointy end of the Thing will clear out the slot in a moment. So much gunk in your knurled chuck you'd think it was smooth? The Thing can, with applied patience, do a cracking job. And so forth; you can probably easily imagine the sort of things it helps with. For a while I used to use an awl for those kinds of jobs, but why spoil the awl with such work? And anyway, often the shaft of an awl widens too quickly to fit in the necessary hole. The edge of this end also works pretty well for scraping widish areas.

The other end provides the scraper element. You can push with the end, or pull with the hook. Many a paint spot on a tool has been popped off with this, and you know how old tools were always apparently owned by Jackson Pollock when it comes to paint splatter. The point of the hook also comes in handy, especially when you want a very controlled movement to avoid creating damage on the surrounding surface. Just treated like a carving knife really.

Of course, after many years of service, those viciously sharp edges are getting rounded and not quite so effective anymore. On the other hand, a less aggressive edge/point can be equally useful to have. So rather than refresh the edges with a file (which does rather strike me as faintly ridiculous) I may have to actually see if I can deliberately make myself a new one.

What are the odds that it'll be harder to do it on purpose...?

Transylvanian saw poised to taste blood

Cutting up firewood in a Carpathian Mountains stylee:

Materials meeting the saw blade appear to be possibly beech, birch, and very probably white Romanian male...

(Apparently they made it through to the end all in one piece. This time.)

You can never have enough clamps

See?

Apparently it's a coat rack. For people who are afraid their coats way simply float away if not adequately held down.

Ack, I'm not adverse to the repurposing of defunct tools - there are a few chez Alf that even now I'm thinking to hack up some more and make something liable to make the more tool-precious wince - but those clamps look in working order. Sigh. Tool lovers should approach the scary world of "Etsy" with extreme caution, that's for sure.

Maybe get an adult to go with you to hold your hand or check if it's safe first.