Shallow thinking

Still restrain yourselves from getting excited, but things all appear to tilt, rotate, and tilt'n'rotate like they're supposed to. Of course this is when it's upside down, so it may only work the right way up in Australia...

Just a few minor things still to do, like flattening the bench top, thinking up a wizard scheme to solve my board jack problem and so forth. Oh, and of course at the moment there's a hole in my tool tray, dear Liza.

I was going to fill in one end, but then I started to wonder. While I like my tool tray for catching things from throwing themselves off the back of the bench when it's not standing against a wall and being able to stand my planes upright but with the blade over the open tray, it's true it does harbour things, particularly in the front corner, where I can't see them. So I was wondering about making the whole tool tray simply shallower. Say an inch or so. What say the reader? Any precedents for that?

Fit, mark, pare, fit, mark, pare...

Don't get excited; it may look like it's virtually done, but actually I'm at the finicky stage of the fitting and the whole thing's taking approximately 500% longer than I anticipated. My own fault for being too tentative at the main stock removal stage. It's not the first three inches that are the difficult bit; it's the last 1/8th. Or rather 1/4. I need to allow more room, but am loathe to remove more bench than absolutely necessary, hence the sloooow progress.

More fulsome detail when it's done - I hope - but thought I'd better do a brief update in case the reader was worried I was lying trapped under an Emmert vice jaw... ;)

Musings from the, er...

Reader, I believe now would be a good time not to come up with a convincing argument not to do this.

And yes, I felt physically sick doing this, thanks for asking. My poor baby. What am I doing to you?!

If any man know of any just cause...

Well, The Schwarz was effective - in all the wrong way.

First up, and most unhappily, it didn't make me want to build a workbench any more than I did before. i.e. Not at all. I'm just not convinced that your "Roubo" didn't go out of fashion for darn good reasons. The not-really-Nicholson just screams "You will curse that apron each and every time you have to fumble beneath it to pop up a bench dog". The wide-spread Continental/European workbench design didn't take off for nothing, I'm convinced. It's not easy to build, and frankly if the factories wanted a material-cheap, easy to build and transport bench, the Nicholson variety would have been a better choice.

In short, I like my hopeless Euro bench with its thicker sides and mere 2" central section. I like its tail vice (that doesn't sag). I like its dog holes handy to the front edge. I like its sturdy beech construction. I like its knock-down design and its sled feet that won't wick up moisture from the concrete floor like end grain will.

But like every other bench ever made, (and why there is no perfect bench, and why Chris is, in my opinion, doomed to make benches for the rest of his life - or until he comes to his senses) my Schwarz-unfriendly bench has flaws. It does, it's true, totally suck at holding boards on edge. And the face vice has been annoying me for ages, because the end cap has shrunk towards the back, so the left corner of the rear jaw is fractionally out of line. It's a small thing, but you'd be amazed how irritating it can be.

So I'm going to give the behemoth a refurb. I'm going to make it a board jack, if I can work out how to get a rail for it far enough out. If not, even some holes along the front will at least be something.

And I'm going to replace the front vice.

Yes, you know where I'm going with this. But look, the darn thing will be smaller than the existing front vice. See?

You've still got time to talk me out of this, but I took the existing front vice mechanism off. Just to have a look...

Okay, so a couple of dog holes are going to die horribly, but on the other hand look how the lovely people at E C Emmerich have practically done half the work already. The only annoying bit is having to break into the tool tray (I didn't mention how I like my tool tray too, did I...?). But I have some beech knocking about, and I'm sure I can fill in with the necessary to tidy up.

So there we are, that's how it's looking at the moment. Like I say, I haven't done anything terminal yet, so by all means fill up the comments box with impassioned argument as to why this is a Bad Idea. But for those readers who want to see me suffering in the making of a bench, bear one thing in mind.

If I do this, and screw it up - which, let's face it, is not beyond the bounds of possibility - I could well end up building a bench anyway...