Sunday, December 16, 2012

Bad Bard

It's that time of the year when tempers can fray a little and one finds the need to vent. If, like me, you're a fully paid-up member of the Amalgamated Society of Workmen Who Blame Their Tools, a pithy word on the subject of the marital status of the begetters of the saw in hand might come to mind all year round. Does this lead to tut-tutting from the surrounding populace? Do sensitive ears need to be covered as you struggle with the Crimbo lights?

Fear not. What you want to do is bring some culture to your cursing, and who better than The Bard to provide.

I'm certainly going to print out a copy to hang handily near the bench. Thus, the next chisel to wilfully split the work, can look forward to being roundly condemned as a "loggerheaded knotty-pated bum-bailey", which'll teach it.

Hmm, actually maybe that last bit would be better kept for badly behaving Stanley bench planes...


  1. A friend of mine at work used to have a similar "Shakespearean insult kit" of magnetic words displayed in a random group on the side of his filing cabinet. If he went out, the trick was to sneak into his office and arrange the most vile insult on the side of his filing cabinet before he could return. This would now probably be considered as "bullying" but he seemed to enjoy it...


  2. Ah, yes, much fun can be had with the old magnetic words. I seem to recall an occasion involving a select group of friends and a bottle of champagne resulting in some questionable literary endeavours via the medium of, iirc, a compendium of magnetic poetry.

  3. I see our old friend Bugbear lurking in the 3rd column. Have you used any of these on him? :)


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